


Puppy Love

by TeamGwenee



Series: Pretty Dress Prompts [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:04:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: Jaime and Brienne are brought together by some unlikely matchmakers.





	Puppy Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [december13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/december13/gifts).



Tyrion and Bronn watched in numb horror as baby faced Podrick Payne collected yet another phone number. One more would make five in one night, and they would owe him a Volvo. (Or at least, Tyrion of the Lannister fortune would owe him a Volvo, and Bronn would graciously provide some fuzzy dice.)

“How does he do it?” Tyrion moaned helplessly, slumping over their booth table.

“It's his lost little boy act,” Bronn said, “Just has to flash those big brown eyes. And if that doesn't work he can just whip out the d-”

“That's enough detail thanks,” Tyrion said quickly.

“If you let me finish, whip out the dog pictures from the animal shelter. Cute, lovable and a friend to abused dogs. Who can say no? Man or woman,”

“My brother could,” Tyrion sighed despondently.

“Still not found someone?” Bronn asked.

“He says he's over Cersei, or at least as much as he is ever going to be,” Tyrion explained, “But he just can't seem to open himself up to anyone. He's so lonely, but I think he's scared,”

“Of course he is!” Bronn scoffed, “You met Cersei, wouldn't you be scared of getting mixed up with a chick if _that's_ your type?”

“I just wish there was something I could do to help him,”

“What are we talking about?” Pod asked as he squeezed into the booth, collection of phone numbers in hand.

“We're trying to set Jaime up,” Tyrion said, “You would think a millionaire model would have it easy,”

“He's too picky,” Bronn sneered, “Wants her honest and clever and loyal, why can't he just settle for willing like the rest of us?”

“Well...” Pod placed the phone numbers onto the table, “I don't know if any of these girls will work, but if you think it's worth a try?”

Tyrion took the numbers from Pod's hands, remembering the boy's many conquests.

“It's worth a shot,” he decided, “At this point, what do we have to lose?”

“It's not like they can be worse than Cersei,” Bronn added, “Unless one of the Brides of Dracula is looking,”

#

They weren't worse than Cersei, but they weren't good. Or at least, they weren't good for Jaime.

Margaery was a gold digger. She was charmingly open about being a gold digger and would no doubt form one half of the world's greatest power couple one day. But her interrogation of Jaime's assets and trust fund turned out to be a major turn off.

Sansa Stark has been disappointed that it was Jaime who turned up and not Pod. This had not an issue initially, they got on well enough at first. But then Jaime discovered that Sansa had been keen on Pod because she hoped his love for dogs would make him more open to trying something she referred to as 'wolf play',

And that was a big fat no.

Daenerys Targaryen was an animal right activist, which Jaime admired until he saw her set a man in their restaurant on fire for eating veal.

But creepy pyromaniac of the lot was Melisandre, who had spent the evening fervently trying to convert him to the Lord of Light and arguing that child sacrifice wasn't all that bad 'if in moderation'.

#

Focussing his camera on the golden blonde, Bronn shrugged and smiled.

“Well,” he said almost consolingly, “At least not all your matches are bad. Those Great Danes of yours can't get enough of the Lannister prick,”

Said Great Danes were rescue dogs from the shelter where Pod worked. Jaime was the new face of the charity. As he posed for the cameras, the hounds leapt and slobbered all over him, relishing in the fuss Jaime made of them.

“Brienne isn't too happy,” Pod noted, nodding towards his superior.

Brienne watched with a scowl, chagrined to find that even her beloved dogs had poor enough taste to be besotted with the man. But then, she was probably the only living creature who wasn't. Everyone else might fawn over the arrogant Lannister heir. But Brienne could not stand to be within two feet of him.

One of the Great Danes; a cowardly and affectionate dog by the name of Ripper, jumped and squealed as one of the light overheated and burst. Even Jaime's coddling and cooing could not calm the mutt and soon all the dogs were barking and yapping. Brienne moved forward, clucking her tongue.

“Heel Ripper!” she ordered, “Sit Brutus!”

For once not even their adored mistress could soothe their panic and Jaime found himself tangled in dogs' leads as the Great Danes circled and scattered around him, tying him up like a Christmas present.

Finally the dogs heard her call, and thankfully rushed towards their protector. They leapt upon her and big feet got caught on the leads. She was sent plummeting onto Jaime and the two toppled to the ground. The dogs, being dogs, licked and clambered over the squirming pair. Brienne was pinned against Jaime's chest, and form the corner of her eye could only just make out the flash of the camera.

“Well Pod!” Bronn laughed, “You may not be the world's greatest matchmaker, but your dogs certainly are!”

  
  


 


End file.
